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[H] AC:O, Kingdom Come, Portia, Many misc games [W] Portal 2, Dont Starve Together, Outward, RoR2, Outer Wilds, others
Lots of leftover Humble stuff, some of it DLC or packs. A few gems in there though. US location. Got Outward, Dont Starve Together, and Portal 2. Thanks! Also interested in Baldurs Gate 3, Fall Guys, Raft, Tabletop Simulator, River City Ransom games. Some favorites
Assassin's Creed® Origins (Uplay account, gift link)
My Time at Portia
Kingdom Come: Deliverance
Call of Duty®: WWII
Call of Duty®: WWII - Call of Duty Endowment Bravery Pack
Call of Duty®: WWII - Call of Duty Endowment Fear Not Pack
Crash Bandicoot™ N. Sane Trilogy
Spyro™ Reignited Trilogy
Duskers
Humble 2-21
Moving Out
Trine 4: The Nightmare Prince
The Wild Eight
Train Station Renovation
Valfaris
Werewolf: The Apocalypse — Heart of the Forest
Lovecraft's Untold Stories
Iris and the Giant
Boomerang Fu
Misc
Anomaly 2
Anomaly Defenders
Anomaly Korea
Anomaly: Warzone Earth
Anomaly Warzone Earth Mobile Campaign
Cathedral
Chivalry: Medieval Warfare
Clatter
Colt Express
Company of Heroes
Crusader Kings II: Dynasty Starter Pack
Dead by Daylight - Curtain Call
Dead by Daylight - Of Flesh and Mud
Dino Run DX
Downtown Drift
Draw Your Game
Dreadlands
HERO DEFENSE
Invisible Inc.
Kalaban
MetaMorph: Dungeon Creatures
Misadventures of Laura Silver: Chapter 1
Motorsport Manager
Must Dash Amigos
Nemo Dungeon
Neverwinter: Vestments of the Wind Pack
Ninja Senki DX
Omensight: Definitive Edition
PAC-MAN™ CHAMPIONSHIP EDITION 2
Partial Control
Potatoman Seeks the Troof
Pumped BMX +
Rebound Dodgeball Evolved
Red Horizon
Red Orchestra 2: Heroes of Stalingrad with Rising Storm
Rogue Rocks
Scanner Sombre
SkyScrappers
Songs of Skydale
Star Trek Online: Federation Elite Starter Pack
Stories: The Path of Destinies
Super Chicken Catchers
THE TEAR
Throne of Lies® The Online Game of Deceit
The Window Box
YORG.io
Chasm
Fluffy Horde
Regular Human Basketball
Sword Legacy Omen
11-11 Memories Retold
Evergarden
SYNTHETIK: Legion Rising
Finding Paradise
The Journey Down: Chapter Three
Wandersong
Dandara
She Remembered Caterpillars
Steel Rats
Q.U.B.E. 2
Sundered
All-Star Fruit Racing - Yogscast Car DLC
Awesomenauts Yogscast Pack - Skolldir
Awesomenauts Yogscast Pack - Ted McPain
Battlerite DLC: YogYog Bear Mount
Blade & Soul Giveaway Pack
Caveblazers - Arena Mode DLC
Guns of Icarus Alliance Yogscast 2017 Costume Pack
Intelligent Design: An Evolutionary Sandbox
Lion Quest
Mimic Arena
Offensive Combat: Redux!
Psychonauts
Robocraft Jingle Jam Pack
Sanctum 2
Spectrum
SuperLuminauts
Tales from Candlekeep: Tomb of Annihilation - Asharra’s Diplomat Pack
Tales from Candlekeep: Tomb of Annihilation - Birdsong’s Entertainer Pack
The Incredible Adventures of Van Helsing: Complete Trilogy 70% £11.24
The Jackbox Party Quintpack 35% £42.24
The Jackbox Party Trilogy 35% £29.24
The Jackbox Party Trilogy 2.0 35% £37.04
The Pew Pew Bundle Vol. 1 85% £3.14
theHunter: Call of the Wild™ - 2021 Edition 50% £32.49
theHunter™: Call of the Wild - 2019 Edition 65% £12.59
theHunter™: Call of the Wild - Reserve Bundle 65% £13.29
Tom Clancy’s Ghost Recon® Wildlands - Season Pass 60% £11.99
Tom Clancy's Ghost Recon Wildlands 60% £21.99
UFC® 4 Deluxe Edition 50% £34.99
Ultimate Danger Bundle - 4 Dangerous Games including Dangerous Driving 50% £19.99
Ultimate Pack 80% £6.55
Valkyria Chronicles 4 DLC Bundle 60% £7.99
Volley &Tennis Bundle Blast 65% £5.85
Warface - Heroic Edition 60% £4.99
Warface - Legendary Edition 60% £8.39
WARTILE 50% £11.24
Watch_Dogs®2 - Season Pass 60% £11.99
We Were Here Series Bundle 30% £13.46
Whitethorn Casual Bundle 80% £4.19
Woodle Tree Bundle 25% £9.36
World of Warships: Legends - Pocket Battleship 30% £23.44
World of Warships: Legends — Small Treasure 30% £2.93
WW1 Game Series Bundle 40% £17.54
X-Morph: Defense 75% £5.99
ZEN Triple RPG Bundle 40% £29.99
Ziggurat - Pharaonic - White Noise 2 Bundle 60% £7.99
Xbox One DLC
Rise of the Tomb Raider: 20 Year Celebration Pack75% £1.99
ACE COMBAT™ 7: SKIES UNKNOWN Season Pass50% £9.99
RESIDENT EVIL 2: All In-game Rewards Unlock60% £1.59
Assassin’s Creed? Odyssey – The Fate of Atlantis includes: The Fate of Atlantis - Episode 1: Fields of Elysium The Fate of Atlantis - Episode 2: Torment of Hades The Fate of Atlantis - Episode 3: Judgment of Atlantis50% £9.99
Idle Champions of the Forgotten Realms: Blood War Delina Skin &Feat Pack40% £5.03
Idle Champions of the Forgotten Realms: Blood War Minsc Skin &Feat Pack40% £5.03
Bloodstained: Ritual of the Night: Iga's Back Pack33% £5.35
Borderlands 3 Season Pass includes: Moxxi's Heist of the Handsome Jackpot Guns, Love, and Tentacles Bounty of Blood Psycho Krieg and the Fantastic Fustercluck40% £23.99
Borderlands 3: Bounty of Blood35% £7.79
Borderlands 3: Guns, Love, and Tentacles35% £7.79
Borderlands 3: Psycho Krieg and the Fantastic Fustercluck35% £7.79
Civilization VI - New Frontier Pass includes: Maya &Gran Colombia Pack Ethiopia Pack Byzantium &Gaul Pack Babylon Pack20% £26.39
Sid Meier's Civilization VI: Civilization VI Expansion Bundle40% £19.79
CODE VEIN: Season Pass50% £9.99
Control: Expansion 1 "The Foundation"45% £4.39
Control: Expansion 2 "AWE"45% £4.39
Crossout: The inventor Pack50% £24.99
Crossout: ‘Arachnophobia’ Pack50% £21.24
Crossout: Adrenaline50% £12.49
Crossout: Tango-150% £12.49
Dying Light: Cuisine &Cargo30% £2.79
DARK SOULS™ III: The Ringed City50% £5.99
DARK SOULS™ III: Ashes of Ariandel50% £5.99
DayZ: Livonia20% £9.39
Dead by Daylight: Special Edition: A Nightmare on Elm Street Chapter50% £3.19
Dead by Daylight: Special Edition: Ash vs Evil Dead50% £1.99
Dead by Daylight: Special Edition: Chains of Hate Chapter50% £3.19
Dead by Daylight: Special Edition: Cursed Legacy Chapter50% £3.19
Dead by Daylight: Special Edition: CURTAIN CALL Chapter50% £3.19
Dead by Daylight: Special Edition: Darkness Among Us50% £3.19
Dead by Daylight: Special Edition: Demise of the Faithful50% £3.19
Dead by Daylight: Special Edition: DESCEND BEYOND Chapter30% £4.47
Dead by Daylight: Special Edition: Ghost Face50% £2.09
Dead by Daylight: Special Edition: Head Case50% £1.59
Dead by Daylight: Special Edition: Leatherface50% £1.99
Dead by Daylight: Special Edition: SHATTERED BLOODLINE Chapter50% £3.19
Dead by Daylight: Special Edition: Silent Hill Chapter30% £4.47
Dead by Daylight: Special Edition: STRANGER THINGS Chapter50% £4.99
Dead by Daylight: Special Edition: The Halloween ??50% £3.19
Dead by Daylight: Special Edition: The SAW Chapter50% £3.19
Dead Rising 3: Season Pass50% £11.99
RESIDENT EVIL 2: Samurai Edge - Chris Model50% £0.99
DiRT Rally 2.0 Year One Pass includes: Monte Carlo Rally Season Two Citroën C4 Rally BMW M1 Procar Rally Season Four Season Three Colin McRae: FLAT OUT Pack50% £9.99
DRAGON BALL XENOVERSE 2: Ultra Pack Set50% £5.99
Dying Light: Hellraid15% £7.13
RESIDENT EVIL 7 biohazard: End of Zoe60% £4.79
F1 2020: F1 Seventy Edition DLC50% £1.99
F1 2020: Keep Fighting Foundation DLC50% £2.49
F1 2020: Schumacher Edition DLC50% £5.62
Fishing Sim World®: Pro Tour: Pro Tour - Bass Pro Shops Equipment Pack30% £6.99
FOR HONOR™ Standard Edition: For Honor - Marching Fire Expansion70% £7.49
FOR HONOR™ Standard Edition: For Honor Year 3 Pass70% £7.49
Forza Horizon 4: Fortune Island60% £5.99
Forza Horizon 4: LEGO Speed Champions60% £5.99
DIRT 5: Gameplay Booster Pack33% £3.34
Ghostrunner: Winter Pack34% £0.99
GRID Ultimate Edition Upgrade includes: Season 1 Season 2 Season 350% £4.99
Idle Champions of the Forgotten Realms: Blood War Skin Pack40% £20.09
Kerbal Space Program Enhanced Edition: History and Parts Pack50% £3.99
Journey to the Savage Planet: Hot Garbage DLC25% £4.49
Borderlands 3: Moxxi's Heist of the Handsome Jackpot35% £7.79
NARUTO TO BORUTO: SHINOBI STRIKER: Season Pass 250% £12.49
RESIDENT EVIL 2: Original Ver. Soundtrack Swap50% £1.39
PAYDAY 2: THE CRIMEWAVE COLLECTION includes: Gage Russian Weapons Pack The Butcher's BBQ Pack The Butcher's Western Pack John Wick Heists The Golden Grin Casino Heist The Wolf Pack GOAT Simulator Heists The Gage Ninja Pack Butcher's Mod Pack Gage Spec Ops Pack The Biker Heist The Point Break Heists The Alesso Heist The Gage Chivalry Pack Scarface Heist 60% £9.59
The Incredible Adventures of Van Helsing: Complete Trilogy 70% £11.24
The Jackbox Party Quintpack 35% £42.24
The Jackbox Party Trilogy 35% £29.24
The Jackbox Party Trilogy 2.0 35% £37.04
The Pew Pew Bundle Vol. 1 85% £3.14
theHunter: Call of the Wild™ - 2021 Edition 50% £32.49
theHunter™: Call of the Wild - 2019 Edition 65% £12.59
theHunter™: Call of the Wild - Reserve Bundle 65% £13.29
Tom Clancy’s Ghost Recon® Wildlands - Season Pass 60% £11.99
Tom Clancy's Ghost Recon Wildlands 60% £21.99
UFC® 4 Deluxe Edition 50% £34.99
Ultimate Danger Bundle - 4 Dangerous Games including Dangerous Driving 50% £19.99
Ultimate Pack 80% £6.55
Valkyria Chronicles 4 DLC Bundle 60% £7.99
Volley &Tennis Bundle Blast 65% £5.85
Warface - Heroic Edition 60% £4.99
Warface - Legendary Edition 60% £8.39
WARTILE 50% £11.24
Watch_Dogs®2 - Season Pass 60% £11.99
We Were Here Series Bundle 30% £13.46
Whitethorn Casual Bundle 80% £4.19
Woodle Tree Bundle 25% £9.36
World of Warships: Legends - Pocket Battleship 30% £23.44
World of Warships: Legends — Small Treasure 30% £2.93
WW1 Game Series Bundle 40% £17.54
X-Morph: Defense 75% £5.99
ZEN Triple RPG Bundle 40% £29.99
Ziggurat - Pharaonic - White Noise 2 Bundle 60% £7.99
Xbox One DLC
Rise of the Tomb Raider: 20 Year Celebration Pack75% £1.99
ACE COMBAT™ 7: SKIES UNKNOWN Season Pass50% £9.99
RESIDENT EVIL 2: All In-game Rewards Unlock60% £1.59
Assassin’s Creed? Odyssey – The Fate of Atlantis includes: The Fate of Atlantis - Episode 1: Fields of Elysium The Fate of Atlantis - Episode 2: Torment of Hades The Fate of Atlantis - Episode 3: Judgment of Atlantis50% £9.99
Idle Champions of the Forgotten Realms: Blood War Delina Skin &Feat Pack40% £5.03
Idle Champions of the Forgotten Realms: Blood War Minsc Skin &Feat Pack40% £5.03
Bloodstained: Ritual of the Night: Iga's Back Pack33% £5.35
Borderlands 3 Season Pass includes: Moxxi's Heist of the Handsome Jackpot Guns, Love, and Tentacles Bounty of Blood Psycho Krieg and the Fantastic Fustercluck40% £23.99
Borderlands 3: Bounty of Blood35% £7.79
Borderlands 3: Guns, Love, and Tentacles35% £7.79
Borderlands 3: Psycho Krieg and the Fantastic Fustercluck35% £7.79
Civilization VI - New Frontier Pass includes: Maya &Gran Colombia Pack Ethiopia Pack Byzantium &Gaul Pack Babylon Pack20% £26.39
Sid Meier's Civilization VI: Civilization VI Expansion Bundle40% £19.79
CODE VEIN: Season Pass50% £9.99
Control: Expansion 1 "The Foundation"45% £4.39
Control: Expansion 2 "AWE"45% £4.39
Crossout: The inventor Pack50% £24.99
Crossout: ‘Arachnophobia’ Pack50% £21.24
Crossout: Adrenaline50% £12.49
Crossout: Tango-150% £12.49
Dying Light: Cuisine &Cargo30% £2.79
DARK SOULS™ III: The Ringed City50% £5.99
DARK SOULS™ III: Ashes of Ariandel50% £5.99
DayZ: Livonia20% £9.39
Dead by Daylight: Special Edition: A Nightmare on Elm Street Chapter50% £3.19
Dead by Daylight: Special Edition: Ash vs Evil Dead50% £1.99
Dead by Daylight: Special Edition: Chains of Hate Chapter50% £3.19
Dead by Daylight: Special Edition: Cursed Legacy Chapter50% £3.19
Dead by Daylight: Special Edition: CURTAIN CALL Chapter50% £3.19
Dead by Daylight: Special Edition: Darkness Among Us50% £3.19
Dead by Daylight: Special Edition: Demise of the Faithful50% £3.19
Dead by Daylight: Special Edition: DESCEND BEYOND Chapter30% £4.47
Dead by Daylight: Special Edition: Ghost Face50% £2.09
Dead by Daylight: Special Edition: Head Case50% £1.59
Dead by Daylight: Special Edition: Leatherface50% £1.99
Dead by Daylight: Special Edition: SHATTERED BLOODLINE Chapter50% £3.19
Dead by Daylight: Special Edition: Silent Hill Chapter30% £4.47
Dead by Daylight: Special Edition: STRANGER THINGS Chapter50% £4.99
Dead by Daylight: Special Edition: The Halloween ??50% £3.19
Dead by Daylight: Special Edition: The SAW Chapter50% £3.19
Dead Rising 3: Season Pass50% £11.99
RESIDENT EVIL 2: Samurai Edge - Chris Model50% £0.99
DiRT Rally 2.0 Year One Pass includes: Monte Carlo Rally Season Two Citroën C4 Rally BMW M1 Procar Rally Season Four Season Three Colin McRae: FLAT OUT Pack50% £9.99
DRAGON BALL XENOVERSE 2: Ultra Pack Set50% £5.99
Dying Light: Hellraid15% £7.13
RESIDENT EVIL 7 biohazard: End of Zoe60% £4.79
F1 2020: F1 Seventy Edition DLC50% £1.99
F1 2020: Keep Fighting Foundation DLC50% £2.49
F1 2020: Schumacher Edition DLC50% £5.62
Fishing Sim World®: Pro Tour: Pro Tour - Bass Pro Shops Equipment Pack30% £6.99
FOR HONOR™ Standard Edition: For Honor - Marching Fire Expansion70% £7.49
FOR HONOR™ Standard Edition: For Honor Year 3 Pass70% £7.49
Forza Horizon 4: Fortune Island60% £5.99
Forza Horizon 4: LEGO Speed Champions60% £5.99
DIRT 5: Gameplay Booster Pack33% £3.34
Ghostrunner: Winter Pack34% £0.99
GRID Ultimate Edition Upgrade includes: Season 1 Season 2 Season 350% £4.99
Idle Champions of the Forgotten Realms: Blood War Skin Pack40% £20.09
Kerbal Space Program Enhanced Edition: History and Parts Pack50% £3.99
Journey to the Savage Planet: Hot Garbage DLC25% £4.49
Borderlands 3: Moxxi's Heist of the Handsome Jackpot35% £7.79
NARUTO TO BORUTO: SHINOBI STRIKER: Season Pass 250% £12.49
RESIDENT EVIL 2: Original Ver. Soundtrack Swap50% £1.39
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December 31, 2019 "The Golden Grin Casino will now fund a moon landing for the new year. We'll be celebrating it by sending 3 brave astronauts, one of which is our current CEO,Mr.James Hoxworth." Now I wasn't sure what was so wonderful about landing on the moon, but considering I've been playing poker, partying on beaches, and running the biggest casino in Vegas, it was a nice way to get away from the grind and relax. My assistant manager, Ugayafukiaezu no Mikoto, tells me that there's a secret society of moon people, and that the moon isn't what it seems. "Ah you wanker, first you tell me there's bloody fucking humanoid rabbits on the moon. Second, you tell me there's fucking people calling themselves bloody "Lunarians." Third, you tell me there's a massive metropolis on the dark side of the Moon. What's bloody next, I'm opening a Lunar casino and getting trillions from them?" "Mr.Hoxworth... with all due respect, I don't allow myself to lie. It is against my values. The things I've said about the moon is true." "Mr.Mikoto, please... just take this shift off and get a good night's sleep, you won't have to make it up. You've been working overtime for the last few weeks and I'm worried. Get a good night's rest, would you sunshine?" Well, it was just me running this casino alone now for the next few days. Until GenSec escorts me to launch on a rocket and show people what we're seeing. Bloody moon people? Fucking rabbits? A goddamn metropolis on the moon? Mr.Mikoto never lied or attempted to cheat me before he brought things up related to the moon landing. I wonder if he was telling the truth, but it didn't matter, I have a casino to run, some people to scam, and some sleep to catch. After seeing that things were running smoothly, I left for my penthouse on top of the Golden Grin itself. Taking the stairs I've hid behind the wall, I locked up the manager's room, pressed a button, and went up a few flights of stairs. I refuse to use an elevator, not after what happened at that damn No Mercy job. Going to my penthouse, I scanned a keycard and went in. I've managed to bargain a really nice deal with GenSec, as I've embarrassed them by breaking their "impenetrable" vault, slaughtering their SWAT units, not to mention my crew's numerous robberies on places "secured" by them. I've managed to get their "Premium deal" for $8999 a month, up to the next 5 years, rather than the full $9999 they charge per month. Getting in bed and sleeping in, I had a dream. In James "Hoxton" Hoxworth's dream... "There's the house, and somewhere... the rat." Bain... I've been waiting for this day for over 2 years, the Judas bastard who ratted me, the motherfucker who let me rot in prison. I saw that Clover, shit-for-brains, and Dallas were with me. As much as I wanted to beat the Hell out of him for stealing my name, the rat can take the hits, for now... Feeling for my shank, I was going to drink this rat's blood, and spit it out on his corpse. We all got past the outer fence, whoever this rat was, that bastard at least had a good place to die. Bain told us about a security system, I was struggling to find it, but Clover managed to find it and we checked for any guards that might of caught us. I lockpicked the window and we quickly disabled the alarm, after wandering around for keycards and not getting caught, I saw the FBI boss. I was going to kill this guy, but Dallas told me that he might be useful alive and that our code doesn't involve killing civilians. Alas, he was unfortunately correct when we found a vault and placed the keycards in them. Bain saw a retinal scanner and told us to take the boss there. I opted to stay there, sitting on a bed and lying on my stomach, listening to the voice of the man who betrayed me, after Dallas bound and gagged the boss, we forced him to scan his eye on the retinal scanner and I was taunting him about how he could try putting me in prison, but he couldn't keep me. The boss couldn't talk, but he probably knew I was right. The other 3 left to find evidence and other things, but I stayed behind to see that panic room open, when I saw that door start opening, I grabbed my shank, and raised my arms up to destroy the brain of this now brainless rat. However, the world around me started to shift and I was back in my prison uniform, being escorted by rabbit girls with guns and a purple-haired chick with a yellow ribbon holding a sword to my neck. The next thing I noticed was that I was restrained exactly like the time before my crew broke me out. After walking forward for a bit, I could hear faint drilling sounds and saw a dollar being thrown out, knowing that this was my breakout, I went for it and got kicked square in the stomach by a light purple-haired rabbit girl with a suit. Coughing up some blood and recovering, the girl who pointed a sword at me told me to stop fucking around and get up. I knew this was breakout time, so I yelled, "It's PAYDAY fellas!" When there was no response, I yelled, "I SAID IT'S FUCKING PAYDAY motherfuc-" The wall besides me blew up and the sword went through my thigh, I was expecting the crew to save me, but they ended up getting restrained by a blonde haired girl with a fan. "Hoxton... we're so sorry for leaving you behind. Please forgive us." Those were the last words uttered by Dallas, Chains, Wolf, and my replacement before it seemed like they turned to dust and disappeared into thing air. "Sister... we did it, we took down the filth that the Earthlings couldn't ever take down. It was easier than I calculated it to be... I honestly expected to have to fight to the last hair." "Ahh, everything is so easy for you when you can borrow the powers of gods, isn't it Yorihime? And you've always desired a challenge from the Earthlings, they've sent their best criminals and nothing of challenge occured. Anyways, weren't you interested with this one we took prisoner?" "Yes... a James Hoxworth, known by his alias "Hoxton," a sharpshooter known for his abilities to hunt heads and the infamous thief that went on that crime spree. I've taken a liking to him, more so that Ugayafukiaezu no Mikoto has committed a massive sin against us. Hoori is still saddened by the loss, but accepts it now. It's just like when Kaguya drank that forbidden elixir. We still miss them inside, but accept that they had to die on the filthy earth." Wait a minute... I known a Ugayafukiaezu no Mikoto, if it wasn't in this fucked up timeline, he would of eventually be my assistant manager after acquiring the Golden Grin. Was he correct, that there were moon people and rabbits. And if so, there must be some sort of civilization on it. Seeing that there was no way out of here, if I was going to rot in prison, I was going to at least have my questions answered. I asked them, "Are you Lunarians, and if so, are we on the moon? Also, is this real or a scare tactic?" The purple haired girl answered me, "Yes, we are Lunarians. And yes, we are on the moon. Allow me to show you our world." Getting escorted, I saw that we were indeed not on Earth, but the fucking moon of all places. There was a massive metropolis, it was on a scale larger than that time I went to Japan for a failed business deal. "What a fuck-tastic place... it's so beautiful. How the hell did you even build this?" "The Lunatic Kingdom... it's been over millions of years since we first established this place. Exploiting quantum physics, enhancing our magical capabilities, having gods on our side. We've estimated humanity wouldn't be able to catch up to our current capabilities until at least tens of thousands of years." I was taken back where the rabbits and blonde girl was. I had my restraints removed, but still had a gun pointed towards my head. A figure, with a crescent moon for a crown with some armor with moon symbols, I noticed that the 2 girls bowed down. "Allow me to introduce myself, I am Lord Tsukuyomi, the God of the Moon. These are my 2 nieces, Toyohime and Yorihime. Quite the charm, are they not." "Yes they are." "We will now go somewhere more desirable for me to tell my prophecies that directly involve you." Seeing that we were in a more serene area, with something I would of seen off an ancient Japanese painting worth hundreds of millions, we sat down on a tatami mat, comfortable things, for sure. Here are his prophecies,
You will marry one of my nieces.
You will attain a legendary power that I wish I could have.
You will bear witness to an unexpected event.
You will live here.
We will meet under more desirable circumstances.
You will be pure.
"But for now, I promise you, James Hoxworth. This is simply a dream, but it serves as my place to tell prophecies without having to directly intervene. Remember my words, and your reward will be greater than your casino. Goodbye." I was sent to a room that looked awfully similar to my penthouse, then I received a kiss on the cheek from Yorihime, and then I was sent on my way... Back in reality, January 1, 2020. Holy shite! I woke up with a note next to my hand, with that dude's prophecies written in what, Japanese or something? Along with a sword that seemed like the ones that girl had. Whatever just happened, I was going to see if this was a scare tactic or reality. Going to my casino, I knew now would be the least profitable time, as everyone has a New Year's resolution that they always fail. I saw Ugayafukiaezu no Mikoto, it looked like he knew something was up. "Mr.Hoxworth, how was your dream last night?" Seeing the devilish smile and his unusual amount of calmness, I knew this guy wasn't joking. He wouldn't have a reason to put his highly prestigious career on the line for the largest casino in America. "It was... um, weird." "Weird, huh? Fufufu, did you see a moon god, 2 beautiful girls, and some rabbit girls?" "Um... yes, yes I did." "Let me fill you in on something, those girls were my mother and ex-wife, 2 "Lunar Princesses." Unfortunately I've done something to get banished from the Moon. My punishment is to rot on Earth. With nobody in to fill in that void, and the political disaster that I've left behind, only the best are allowed to marry her." "So why the Hell would a moon god choose my sorry ass? I mean I'm pretty sure he can find better." "Simple, I've been observing your magical energy, and it seemed that it's more than what some gods can dream of containing. You've also have a unique power that only few can hope to replicate, much less acquire. I am not allowed to tell you exactly what it is, but you'll learn with time, Mr.Hoxworth." I reached for that note I was given from those "Lunarians," I asked Ugayafukiaezu to read them for me, since if anyone could reach those um... symbols, it was going to be him. "Dear me, Mr.Hoxworth, it looks like you've really ascended from being an Earthling to a Lunarian. Is this the cost of my sin? Being employed by the one who will take my place, well... I deserve it." "Anyways... I sincerely hope you had a good night's rest. Maybe tell your deity buddies to fill me in next time instead of leaving me confused and thinking their saying a bunch of crap." Days have passed, I only had dreams of those "Lunarians" but got more details about them in more desirable circumstances. I remember seeing Bain and Tsukuyomi discuss what I used to be, and how that gave me status to their secret society stuff, or that one time where Locke wrecked all of us in golf and managed to hit a boat for once, and especially that one where Dallas told Yorihime everything about me. It was going to be one more day before I was getting launched into space, hopefully I have everything figured out. January 11, 2020 I took whatever objects I could to get into space, they prepared food, water, and some other essentials. Even 3 Mossberg 500s were packed with us as there's been reports of astronauts being attacked, I wonder if those were the "Lunarians" that I've been seeing in my dreams. GenSec took me on a plane to the Kennedy Space Center, as part of my sponsership with NASA, the Golden Grin will fund their projects and provide for their employees in return of giving me the pleasure of being on the moon. Going through some boring checks and being shoved in a fucking spacesuit, making me look like a glorified Bulldozer from my first crime spree?file=Bulldozer.jpg), I was in a rocket with my other comrades. I was going to be flown off to the moon and had to do all sorts of things, but overall, if the Lunarians are real and Tsukuyomi wasn't bluffing, I was going to hopefully live somewhere better. If it was just a really massive coincidence, I was going to be the first and possibly only Golden Grin member with the privilege of saying, "I was on the moon." And we have liftoff. Flying in a massive hunk of steel and computers, we viewed everything, for the next 3 days, we were doing nothing productive, but I've noticed a few things. My body felt like it contained a load of magic and that I was going to be something greater. But I just played it off as over-excitement and we finally landed on the moon. "OK... so we'll take pictures, replace the flag, and broadcast this to the whole world. It is time that we forward our knowledge of the cosmos. We have to investigate the dark side of the moon." Doing what command wanted us to do, we were going there to forward the cause of science. I felt an uneasiness and heard an intentional static. "Hey wankers... do you get the feeling that we're being watched by something out of this world? Like we're the ones being studied instead of studying?" "No... why?" "I just feel like something is off here, but let's tread on." As my team went further to investigate the darkness, we reached a point where we noticed a sea of all things. Fucking Hell, it looks like my dreams were slowly becoming reality, we took notes until we were ambushed by a bunch of rabbit girls. "HALT! You impure beings, you will now be detained, put your hands over your heads and stay silent. Do not attempt to move, or speak, otherwise you will be eliminated." Son of a bitch... we had guns pointed towards our heads and I saw who looked like Yorihime there. Was this an elaborate thing set up by the FBI and GenSec to get me back in jail? Was this a well-done nightmare? Will the ZEAL SWATs going swarm me any second now? My body was starting radiate what feels like magic and my soul felt like it was starting a process to ascend, whatever this was, it wasn't going to be pretty for any of us. Maybe I've ascended to a new realm or something... whatever this is. I'm going to do what the girl says, that's one sharp sword and I rather not see that as the last thing before my death and get beheaded.
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Back to the Moon, Part 0: Demons and Monks (Prologue)
Just a little prologue I wanted to work on to add some new complexity and interest to the Hoxton Cinematic Universe (thanks for Kdog8273 for getting me to settle on that), I'll try to make this relevant somehow... I embraced the final twophotos that my family from Makai sent me using a Buddhist monk and her associates as a courier of all people that the demons could think of. On the back of one of them, a message, written in my native demon language in my mother's handwriting, instructed me to talk with the courier. The courier, a tall purple and blonde haired nun named Byakuren, started talking to me about my mother's past as she was sealed and hasn't had the support from her Buddhist buddies at the time to unseal her. She mentioned how Shinki had an more twisted past that she managed to overcome and move on with her help. "Hoxton... I hate saying this, but your mother used to be The Devil. But she wasn't exactly what people will view her to be." I was curious, "The Devil, but she wasn't exactly what people view her to be." That thought went on into my head until I asked, "How?" "She was only there to punish the evil and create other demonic entities as the God Empress of Hell. Her rule over all other demons and Hell itself was absolute. But eventually, all the stereotypes about The Devil got far enough into her head where she simply gave up her role and started going on a massacre. She was given names such as, Satan, Lucifer, Beelzebub, Mephisto... and many horrible names I wouldn't wish to call upon anybody. Even the worst of the worst. They also attributed her as being a massive muscular male with red skin who carries a trident, has horns, wings, and a tail who's boogeyman is called "God." They believed that she was the one who tortures mortals with pleasure for all eternity, even though she only oversees her demon underlings doing what the dead mortals believe is their punishment. They called her things like the Father of Lies or really, Father of anything that's terrible. People also believed she was forcing sentient life to live against their own will as they would say things like, "The Devil made me do it." People also believed she trades souls with a beautiful reward as a way to exploit people, which is highly untrue. As those who sold their souls are in debt to that individual entity rather than Shinki herself. Only the most twisted individuals sold their souls to your mother for a percentage of absolute power, putting themselves in an inescapable debt trap with The Devil... Eventually, this got so out of hand for her mentality, The Devil herself, after what your mother says is at least a hundred trillion years of hearing nonsense from idiots, started her own apocalypse in Hell. First, by wiping out the 7 Demon Overlords, which were second only to her in power and authority. You may of heard of them as the 7 Deadly Sins. None of us has ever had to deal with them more than our desires, as your mother erased their forms and power in their entirely. Looking back on that, we would of had literally prayed to The Devil to control them, as Shinki described them as beings of evil beyond the concept of pure evil and conquerors of "immeasurable realms." Later, as she the stereotypes and negativity still occurred despite their erasure, she proceeded to erase all the Demon Lords, which served as a advisory council for her and as rulers of their own kingdoms, which were partitioned by Shinki's absolute rule with confirmations by the Overlords. These Demon Lords are also known as the most powerful demons in all of religion, those names I mentioned earlier, they serve the Overlords and your mother. They could also be malevolent gods, and all other sorts of bad things that could quality as the most powerful evil per religion. Good thing they don't exist anymore... otherwise, it'll be much worse for all of us. Eventually, this erasure has reached the near-entirety of both Hell and evil as a concept itself. Until a mere peasant has defied your mother and promised to take over her position of the Goddess of Hell, for exchange of Shinki being able to leave and live her own life outside of Hell. I think her name was Hecate or something... I need to double-check on that. After your mother has officially transferred her throne and leaving evil itself in a state of near-death, she was obsessed with the concept of "free will" after humans keep mentioning it all the time, either embracing it or considering it "the lies of The Devil." She saw and heard through many eyes and ears on Earth, being obsessed with humanity's "free will," but wanting to leave them alone, left the universe, created a new one from the nothingness, and made it a completely flat world instead of a bunch of planets going around a star. Her first demon was Yumeko, who saw Shinki as a mistress despite her never getting involved with her life beforehand. Eventually, she wanted to experience what made relationships so special after Yumeko's constant begging to be her maid, and why humans treasure them so much, so she allowed herself to experience emotions and did as Yumeko desired. Then, she wanted to see how her new demons were interact with each other if left alone with nothing but themselves and some resources. After more creation and overseeing their existence with Yumeko, she was happy and wanted to live among them, but not interfere with them unless asked to. Creating her own fortress behind a world of Ice and Snow, the Pandæmonium, inspired by her original fortress in Hell. She and Yumeko were there for a very long time. That is where I come in. The first time I saw Makai, a bunch of scared humans sealed me away for being friendly with youkai. I was trapped in Makai with the fear of death looming around me, so I was desperate and learned demonic magic to do good things. Eventually, this anomaly has gotten your mother's attention and she was confused on why a human sealed in a demon's realm by their own species would learn their magic to be a beneficiary to them. She was baffled, confused, and simply did not understand why I did what I had to do. Eventually, both of us managed to grow a relationship with each other as friends, even with her being my jailer. After I told her everything about me, she felt comfortable admitting her faults around me. But she also had a bit of a code of her own, she doesn't lie and loves backing up her statements. Eventually, she told me everything I told you prior, but she showed it all. To show I'm not bluffing, I need to do something... hold on. Shou, do you know where I placed my scroll?" I was trying to see if maybe she had dropped it, or misplaced it, or something, until "I can feel it... everything it has to say. I can feel it breathing, hearing, everything about it." I waved my hand and pulled out the scroll. "Hmm... maybe it'll work. Hoxton, would you be kind and use a spell which turns this scroll into a window of the past?" I was interested and mesmerized by everything Byakuren had to say. Being a Buddhist nun, it was pretty much against her own interest to lie and I heard from some others that Byakuren was generally one of the most pleasant people to be around in Gensokyo. Using some of my magic, I opened a window to the past with the scroll being what we saw. The Sutra Scroll augmented itself and we saw a visual representation of everything Byakuren previously described, even down to the finer details and things she missed, such as the amount of worlds Shinki has conquered as the Empress of Hell, and many other atrocities that I would never of expected my mother to oversee and be indifferent to. When I pointed them out, Byakuren was shocked she could miss the finer details, but I didn't blame her. Going out of your way to see evil is something I don't believe Buddhist monks do in their free time. "Wait... there is also a reason why you embody all the demonic powers of Makai, Hoxton! Now I have to warn you, this is very disturbing, I will stop if you ask me to." Byakuren showed me the first destruction of Makai... the Mystic Square Incident. I've always tried suppressing that memory. Whether it was through my unlicensed boxing, felony, or other legally questionable activities I have engaged in. It was unfortunately, but I learned to accept it and move on. She got thirsty after at least an hour-long so monologue and teaching me Buddhist values, so she asked her friend Shou the Tiger to get us tea. I told her she didn't have to be so nice to me as I was the absolute scum of Buddhist ideology, especially of the number of corpses I have belonging to at least the GenSec Elites, my rampant stealing, my constant lying as a criminal and the owner of the Golden Grin Casino for my own gain, and my love for alcohol. "Why would you be so polite to the lowest of the low? They'll remain that way even with your best interests at heart." Shou the Tiger was surprised someone could be so self-loathing, so she was interested into seeing how she could try helping me. I told her there was no way in Hell she could do anything even if I let her and she was trying her very best. Even if I had a 180 in heart, it still doesn't change the type of monster I used to be. However, Byakuren knew this was the same deal with Shinki, as she claimed my mother had the exact same attitude when they both first started out with their little therapy session. She mentioned you can't ever change the past and everything that happened unless your name was Sakuya Izayoi. "Hoxton... what you were in the past stays that way. But maybe... maybe you can change yourself for the future? You won't know unless you try. I'm helping youkai and humans get along, I also believe in you." Those words really broke my self-loathing, as I knew as a fact I couldn't change my past as the notorious Fugitive of the Payday Gang with at least billions stolen and at least a few thousand bodies, but I could be the best Hoxton that I could be. No wonder my mother entrusted her with the delivery, they were tight... just like me and the original Payday Gang. I was thankful and did a small demonic gesture, pulling one of my money bundles from the Golden Grin ($307.5k) and donating to the Buddhists, it was the least I could do as a thanks for Byakuren for making me realize how much better I could be and letting me know more about my mother's past, even if it was nothing but atrocities and indifference. I sprouted my 6 demon wings and prepared to fly away to Alice's house to pick up my stuff, but before I left, Shou and Byakuren approached me and asked me if I wanted to join them on their Buddhist quest. Humans and youkais had the same chance opportunity. I was thinking hard about it, give up my life for a pursuit of Buddhism, or use their teachings to inspire me on future decisions and live my current life. I had a moral dilemma, but after seeing what they do daily, I knew I wasn't Buddhist material. Additonally, Toyohime knows about my existence and chances are, Yorihime knows I'll be returning soon. Politely, I declined their offer and started flying to Alice's house to get my stuff and pack my bags. I have to pass through the Hakurei Barrier, then a language barrier, finally, I was going to head back to Washington with a quick stop near the airport I funded near the Golden Grin, until heading back to the Lunar Capital somehow without using Eirin. As I rather not be experimented on with the weird medical shit she uses on Reisen. I could just fly up there from Eientei as that's the closest route from the Moon to the Earth... but I'm willing to experiment with my demonic powers to see if the purity of that place can block my magic or my status as a Lunarian is already enough. Additionally, I think I was on a tourist visa and don't need to send in Japanese agents to find my demonic arse. Flying over to Alice's house and packing up, I told her it was time that I leave. Grabbing my stuff and placing them in pocket dimensions, I used the curses lying around in the Forest of Magic and changed part of the evil to be an infinite supply of iced coffee for me. Alright Yorihime... you know I'll return for you. The Revenant always does.
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